0202 - Workaholic fathers 'leave orphans'

The head of the Roman Catholic Church Pope Francis has issued a stern warning to fathers who work long hours. He criticised workaholic dads for being 'symbolically absent' from their families, and of effectively making their children 'orphans'. The Pope was speaking to a congregation at the Vatican on Wednesday when he made his plea for fathers to spend more time with their children and get more involved in family life. He told worshippers that the absence of fathers in the family is one of the reasons that children experience problems growing up. He said fathers who focused too much on their jobs was one of the causes of "deviances of children and adolescents".

Pope Francis said this problem of fathers being obsessed with their jobs and not spending quality time with their family was particularly prevalent in Europe and North America. He said: "Fathers are so focused on themselves, on their work, and at times their personal fulfillment, that they even forget their families, leaving children and the young to their own devices." He added: "The feeling of orphanhood experienced by many young people is more profound than we might think. They are orphans in their families because their fathers are often absent from the home, but also, and above all, because when they are present, they do not act like fathers." He warned that fatherless families are being accepted as the norm.

0130 - The Devoted Widow

   A WIDOW weeping on her husband's grave was approached by an
Engaging Gentleman who, in a respectful manner, assured her that he
had long entertained for her the most tender feelings.

  "Wretch!" cried the Widow.  "Leave me this instant!  Is this a time
to talk to me of love?"

  "I assure you, madam, that I had not intended to disclose my
affection," the Engaging Gentleman humbly explained, "but the power
of your beauty has overcome my discretion."

  "You should see me when I have not been crying," said the Widow.

0129 - The Circular Clew

  A DETECTIVE searching for the murderer of a dead man was accosted
by a Clew.

  "Follow me," said the Clew, "and there's no knowing what you may
discover."

  So the Detective followed the Clew a whole year through a thousand
sinuosities, and at last found himself in the office of the Morgue.

  "There!" said the Clew, pointing to the open register.

  The Detective eagerly scanned the page, and found an official
statement that the deceased was dead.  Thereupon he hastened to
Police Headquarters to report progress.  The Clew, meanwhile,
sauntered among the busy haunts of men, arm in arm with an
Ingenious Theory."

0128 - The Faithful Cashier

  THE Cashier of a bank having defaulted was asked by the Directors
what he had done with the money taken.

  "I am greatly surprised by such a question," said the Cashier; "it
sounds as if you suspected me of selfishness.  Gentlemen, I applied
that money to the purpose for which I took it; I paid it as an
initiation fee and one year's dues in advance to the Treasurer of
the Cashiers' Mutual Defence Association."

  "What is the object of that organisation?" the Directors inquired.

  "When any one of its members is under suspicion," replied the
Cashier, "the Association undertakes to clear his character by
submitting evidence that he was never a prominent member of any
church, nor foremost in Sunday-school work."

  Recognising the value to the bank of a spotless reputation for its
officers, the President drew his check for the amount of the
shortage and the Cashier was restored to favour.

0127 - The Nightside of Character

  A GIFTED and Honourable Editor, who by practice of his profession
had acquired wealth and distinction, applied to an Old Friend for
the hand of his daughter in marriage.

  "With all my heart, and God bless you!" said the Old Friend,
grasping him by both hands.  "It is a greater honour than I had
dared to hope for."

  "I knew what your answer would be," replied the Gifted and
Honourable Editor.  "And yet," he added, with a sly smile, "I feel
that I ought to give you as much knowledge of my character as I
possess.  In this scrap-book is such testimony relating to my shady
side, as I have within the past ten years been able to cut from the
columns of my competitors in the business of elevating humanity to
a higher plane of mind and morals - my 'loathsome contemporaries.'"

  Laying the book on a table, he withdrew in high spirits to make
arrangements for the wedding.  Three days later he received the
scrap-book from a messenger, with a note warning him never again to
darken his Old Friend's door.

  "See!" the Gifted and Honourable Editor exclaimed, pointing to that
injunction - "I am a painter and grainer!"

  And he was led away to the Asylum for the Indiscreet.

0126 - A Treaty of Peace

  THROUGH massacres of each other's citizens China and the United
States had been four times plunged into devastating wars, when, in
the year 1994, arose a Philosopher in Madagascar, who laid before
the Governments of the two distracted countries the following MODUS
VIVENDI:

  "Massacres are to be sternly forbidden as heretofore; but any
citizen or subject of either country disobeying the injunction is
to detach the scalps of all persons massacred and deposit them with
a local officer designated to receive and preserve them and sworn
to keep and render a true account thereof.  At the conclusion of
each massacre in either country, or as soon thereafter as
practicable, or at stated regular periods, as may be provided by
treaty, there shall be an exchange of scalps between the two
Governments, scalp for scalp, without regard to sex or age; the
Government having the greatest number is to be taxed on the excess
at the rate of $1000 a scalp, and the other Government credited
with the amount.  Once in every decade there shall be a general
settlement, when the balance due shall be paid to the creditor
nation in Mexican dollars."

  The plan was adopted, the necessary treaty made, with legislation
to carry out its provisions; the Madagascarene Philosopher took his
seat in the Temple of Immortality, and Peace spread her white wings
over the two nations, to the unspeakable defiling of her plumage.

0109-The Crew of the Life-boat

The Crew of the Life-boat


  THE Gallant Crew at a life-saving station were about to launch 
their life-boat for a spin along the coast when they discovered, 
but a little distance away, a capsized vessel with a dozen men 
clinging to her keel.

  "We are fortunate," said the Gallant Crew, "to have seen that in 
time.  Our fate might have been the same as theirs."

  So they hauled the life-boat back into its house, and were spared 
to the service of their country.