[First Story]
A Matter of Method A PHILOSOPHER seeing a Fool beating his Donkey, said: "Abstain, my son, abstain, I implore. Those who resort to violence shall suffer from violence." "That," said the Fool, diligently belabouring the animal, "is what I'm trying to teach this beast - which has kicked me." "Doubtless," said the Philosopher to himself, as he walked away, "the wisdom of fools is no deeper nor truer than ours, but they really do seem to have a more impressive way of imparting it."
[Second Story]
The Man of Principle DURING a shower of rain the Keeper of a Zoological garden observed a Man of Principle crouching beneath the belly of the ostrich, which had drawn itself up to its full height to sleep. "Why, my dear sir," said the Keeper, "if you fear to get wet, you'd better creep into the pouch of yonder female kangaroo - the SALTARIX MACKINTOSHA - for if that ostrich wakes he will kick you to death in a minute." "I can't help that," the Man of Principle replied, with that lofty scorn of practical considerations distinguishing his species. "He may kick me to death if he wish, but until he does he shall give me shelter from the storm. He has swallowed my umbrella."
