[first story]
Alarm and Pride "GOOD-MORNING, my friend," said Alarm to Pride; "how are you this morning?" "Very tired," replied Pride, seating himself on a stone by the wayside and mopping his steaming brow. "The politicians are wearing me out by pointing to their dirty records with ME, when they could as well use a stick." Alarm sighed sympathetically, and said: "It is pretty much the same way here. Instead of using an opera- glass they view the acts of their opponents with ME!" As these patient drudges were mingling their tears, they were notified that they must go on duty again, for one of the political parties had nominated a thief and was about to hold a gratification meeting.
[second story]
A Causeway A RICH Woman having returned from abroad disembarked at the foot of Knee-deep Street, and was about to walk to her hotel through the mud. "Madam," said a Policeman, "I cannot permit you to do that; you would soil your shoes and stockings." "Oh, that is of no importance, really," replied the Rich Woman, with a cheerful smile. "But, madam, it is needless; from the wharf to the hotel, as you observe, extends an unbroken line of prostrate newspaper men who crave the honour of having you walk upon them." "In that case," she said, seating herself in a doorway and unlocking her satchel, "I shall have to put on my rubber boots."
